I was listening to music earlier and ‘Blue Savannah’ came on, by Erasure. The song has been going around my head and inspired me to write this.
I know these are hard times. I’m a keyworker, so have been to work and will be on call, although not required at the moment. So I’ve been in a state of flux. I’m usually very busy; I have more than one job, and I like it that way. But now I’m at home, with my child and I’ve got time on my hands. It’s made me reflect and think about things. I like a good list, so here is one:
- I’m really lazy. Like, given the chance, I’ll happily sit in my pyjamas and watch crap telly all day long, snacking on crisps and biscuits. Which is fine. For a day or so. Or if I’m ill. Which I’m not (so far). So I’m making myself get dressed, do my hair (brush it), and sort things out. Which brings me to number 2…
- I’m really into ‘sorting things out’. Cupboards, washing, clothes, garden, books…. but much of it involves moving one lot of stuff into another space. Still, at least I’m busy.
- In this current catastrophe, I find it really hard to relax. I can’t read, I can’t sleep, I can’t watch a full film. I’m constantly checking my phone or sending messages or looking at Facebook. I think I need some time out.
- I bought flowers for the house last time I went shopping and these flowers have brought sunshine to my soul ever since. Don’t underestimate the power of nature.
- My daughter gives up really easily. More of a realisation about her, but it makes me understand that there’s lots about her that I didn’t realise until I had to work on school stuff with her. I know I’ve done a lot for her over the years and it’s time to allow her to work on this – failure is important, but you have to try first.
As I’m sitting here with my windows open, I can hear children playing, bouncing on their trampolines, arguing with siblings and the splash of water. I can hear someone doing their gardening (I think it’s a spade I can hear!) and my daughter laughing about something she’s seen on the internet upstairs. I can smell the fields nearby (fertilizer!) and hear a dog barking. My house casts a shadow in the sunlight in my back garden and my cat is purring happily on the cushion next to me. I think I hear a bee.
Spring has sprung and in these turbulent times, I’m grateful for a home, a family and all the things I am and have.