Happy National Orgasm Day!

Happy National Orgasm Day!

What a day! Quick, call your mum, your dad, your aunties! Wish them the happiest of days!

Eighties phone Stock Photos - Page 1 : Masterfile
(Not my grandma.)

Oh wait. No, we don’t *do* that. We are embarrassed, we shy from the word and we certainly don’t TALK about it. It’s shameful. It’s something that isn’t talked about in polite circles. Don’t chat about it over the water cooler at work. Don’t put it as a Facebook status, or even Google it, because….

it’s a taboo subject.

We can talk about intercourse, we talk about cum, we talk about blowjobs and ‘going down’. We will talk about ‘size’ and position and the state of their room, but we don’t talk about pleasure. The orgasm.

“Was it good for you?” we’ll ask. But what if it’s not? We are afraid of offending, of feeling bad, “Yeah, great” we’ll answer. Was it? Were you disappointed?

Which is why we want to blog about it. Because we want to talk about it.

Excited laptop male Stock Photos - Page 1 : Masterfile
Couple extremely excited about T.B.C’s new blog.

Here’s a couple of statistics from the Family Planning Association:

• Over 80% of women could not reach orgasm through

intercourse (penetration) alone;

• The vast majority needed stimulation of the clitoris in order to

orgasm;

• Most women (72%) reported difficulty in achieving a

simultaneous orgasm with their partners;

• 70% of the women reported having multiple orgasms;

• Almost 40% had (at some time) ejaculated fluid at the moment

of climaxing;

• About one in seven women had experienced pain during

orgasm;

• Almost 3% of the women had never had an orgasm.

Oh, that’s all about women is it? The findings on men is a bit trickier to find. But here’s some from the US in 2009:

  • About 85% of men report that their partner had an orgasm at the most recent sexual event; this compares to the 64% of women who report having had an orgasm at their most recent sexual event. (A difference that is too large to be accounted for by some of the men having had male partners at their most recent event.) (2009 NSSHB)
  • Men are more likely to orgasm when sex includes vaginal intercourse; women are more likely to orgasm when they engage in a variety of sex acts and when oral sex or vaginal intercourse is included. (2009 NSSHB)

What about same sex relationships?

A study by Garcia, Lloyd, Wallen, and Fisher (2014) surveyed a nationally representative sample of 6,151 women and men. The study demonstrated that for women, the rate of orgasm varied by sexual orientation. The mean occurrence rate (or how often sexual encounters with other people led to orgasm) was 61.6 percent for heterosexual women, 58 percent for bisexual women, and 74.4 percent for lesbian women.

In this study, men, regardless of sexual orientation, reported consistently more orgasms than women.

Suggestive lolly licking.

Well that’s a lot of statistics. Lots of studies done and numbers crunched.

It shows that consistently, heterosexual women are the ones having poor sex. The ones less likely to orgasm. Which is a shame – why do we find it so hard to talk about? Why can’t we talk about intimate things?

At this point I’ll add a poem by the wonderful Hollie McNish – she talks a lot about orgasms.

We can talk about the weather until clouds run out of rain

And we can chat about the day to day then sleep then start again

And we can argue over books we’ve read, politics, the news each day

But it seems our lips and tongues and throats run dry when we try to say

I prefer it when you touch me here

I’ll show you if that’s ok

We send messages through outer space

Texts that fly through floating air

Bounce sound waves towards burning stars split seconds, back to waiting ears across oceans

We speak screen to screen, faces flash through satellites

But this progress in communication stumbles when we try to say

I’d like to try out something new, I’d like to learn to pleasure you

I think this might be fun, I’ll show you round my body

If you’d like to come

So let’s open up this conversation, shall we? Let’s stop being embarrassed and maybe just make it normal to talk about being satisfied.

I remember my first. I remember it because I had no idea what it was, I was a teenager, I was in an abandoned garage (don’t ask) and I certainly don’t think it was my partners’ intent…. I think it was an accident. It took me years and a marriage to be able to talk about sex openly, and more years on top of that to be able to say what I wanted and expect my pleasure to be on an equal footing to my (male) partners. I wish it hadn’t taken so long!

Do you remember your first orgasm?

Talk to your daughters. Talking about orgasms should be part of sexual education.

Talk to your sons – it should be part of theirs, too.

Imagine a world where we can all be better lovers.

Share the love, be it heterosexual, lesbian, gay, bisexual, demi-sexual, etc, etc, etc.

Love each other! (but do it in a responsible way).

National Orgasm Day: The 7 types of male orgasm and how to have them
Go on, have some mind-blowing orgasms!


8 thoughts on “Happy National Orgasm Day!

  1. An incredibly informative piece of writing. Mind you, I knew this all because I’m Christian Grey (in my dreams..)

    Joking aside; I commend you. Important topics such as this should be used as encouragement to people of all genders. Communication is vital so both can enjoy a night of passion or even play alone.

    The way which sex is taught in the curriculum system needs changing too. Maybe more support for young people to be able to ask questions etc.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Joey – thanks so much for dropping by (glad you found your way here and not some mass orgie page hehehe).

      We agree with you about sex education being taught differently in schools (we think the whole education system need shake up to be honest). But there needs to be an emphasis on communication, connection with the self and understanding the body/mind relationship.. We should also not feel guilty about sex, talking about it or participating in it.

      We love your input, thank you for always supporting us. x

      Like

    1. We (obviously 🤭) 100% agree. We don’t encourage “talking” enough, about anything. And particularly when its comes to being intimate with a lover or even ourselves x

      Like

  2. Great Post, lots of people don’t write about orgasms and it is very important especially for women. Its vital we start speaking to our partners about it. Thank you for writing this

    Liked by 1 person

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