Affectionate, cool, faithful, kind, pleasant, and thoughtful. These are just some of the adjectives I don’t associate with the first girl I dated..
Hey all. Welcome to my second guest post for the wonderful and talented trio – TBC. My name is Joey and I’m the owner of the men’s blogging website – concealedvoices.com. I was invited to write a post about “my first” – so I decided to use this opportunity to reminisce (and criticise) about the first girl in my life. I shall call Laura for the sake of hiding my former fling’s real identity, and because her actual name is not worth the effort required for me to lift my fingers to type her name on my new keyboard.
2008 was a huge year for me. I turned 18 years old and officially became an adult, although I was still an immature (but lovely) young lad. It was also the first year that I started bodybuilding and developing the foundations of my new life. I suffered from bullying at school and had a face full of acne. Girls would walk past me and laugh at my looks which would shatter any tiny piece of confidence in me. However, after many months of training and staying disciplined with my diet, I evolved into a completely new person. I was full of confidence and all the healthy nutrition killed away my acne. It was walking home from the gym that Laura first came into my life.
Me and my friend were talking back from the gym when a girl started whistling at us. She approached both of us and said her friend fancied me and if she could get my number. I was ecstatic and had a sudden rush of dopamine to my brain. A girl wanted my number so much that she stopped her car to get her friend to approach me? Wow!
We started messaging a few hours later and moved our conversation to MSN Messenger, a legendary instant messaging service used by every teenager in the mid-00s. To my complete surprise, it wasn’t the girl in the car who wanted my number: It was actually Laura who approached me. She used her mate in the car as an excuse to come and talk to me. Damn, she’s a confident girl to randomly come up to two guys like that. I admired her deception, to be honest.
A month later we arranged a date but it wasn’t anything fancy, such as going to a restaurant. Neither of us had a job so we thought it would be fun to go and have a picnic at the local park. It was a gorgeous, hot summers’ day and I met her outside ASDA superstore wearing a white polo shirt and jeans. I always keep it smart and casual but the shirt made my muscles look bigger than what they were. A tad embarrassing when I look back at it now. Although I guarantee every lad has done it at least once to impress a girl!
Laura looked gorgeous with her makeup and long brunette hair. She was wearing white see-through trousers too. You don’t have to imagine the thoughts going through my mind as a horny male teenager. I was so f*cking chuffed as I strutted through the town centre knowing this girl was mine for the day. We had a lovely picnic, made out a few times, and agreed to meet again after walking her back to the train station. I was so excited for the future as we both saw us developing into a potential relationship. More dates, days out, and hopefully losing my virginity to her. Oh, how everything descended from here..
Laura was the most disrespectful, heartless, and manipulative girl I ever met to this day. Although we were never official, she used me as bait to get revenge, and even reconciliation, against her ex-boyfriend. I was extremely naïve and couldn’t control my emotions. I was trying to find something that never existed – love. What hurt the most was her confessing that I wasn’t the only guy she was seeing at the time. Blimey, she had more recruits than the army.
I wasn’t impressed with my actions or how I handled that situation which unfortunately spanned over a few months. I insulted her family and friends as retaliation for crushing me. Laura was no angel, but instead of walking away, I kept pouring fuel on the fire. She even lost her job because of what happened between us. I learned so much about myself during that difficult period that I wouldn’t change the past if I had given the option to. It reminds me my late grandfather’s favourite quote – “To become old and wise, you must first be young and stupid”.
As much as I use my words and platform to try and inspire young men: I’m struggling to find a conclusion to my post. Do I say not to fantasize too much about putting all your hopes into your first relationship, or maybe just walk away when things start turning hostile? I guess both are sensible bits of advice even if it’s easier said than done.
Please don’t force being in a relationship for the sake of it. I’m single at 30 years old and I couldn’t be happier. Sure, I miss the regular intimacy, but then I enjoy the excitement of talking to new girls. My past mistakes have more me feel another 20 years wiser than what I am.
As the late great Tom Moore would say – “tomorrow will be a good day”.
Notes on the Author & Illustrator
Joey from Concealed Voices is another one of our Blog Squad members. We connected way back in 2019 and we have found comfort and beauty in his writing. Joey is building a platform that allows us to discuss men’s mental health. Cracking Mental Health is the key to finding our confidence, truth and peace which can enable us to create a community where we can all live, together. Pop along to Joey’s blog and take solace from all the articles on how to exercise self care.
All illustrations provided throughout My First Time are original, bespoke works of Monty Vern. Monty has also
created “My First Time…Behind the Scenes” – a companion series to #MyFirstTime. In this exclusive series Monty allows us to take a walk through his mind when creating images for My First Time. A collaboration in every sense, when you get a glimpse into the inner workings of a creatives mind! Keep up with the whole series by following T.B.C and Monty Vern.