The Hot Air Balloon

Blogtober ’21 Day 16

Today is a turning point. 

It’s a small thing, barely perceptible to anyone else. 

But it’s big. 

Huge, in fact. 

Today, my little girl, my only baby, my best friend forever has decided to go into town. 

By herself. 

On a bus. 

Without me.

 
Now, I know *everyone* does this. It’s totally normal. But as a parent, I can literally feel the time running out. I can feel the hot air balloon holdings being snipped, one by one. I’m in the basket and it’s getting cold. 

My daughter was born on a winter’s day. I know it was winter, but I couldn’t tell you the weather, because I was in a windowless room and I was on lots of drugs. But the day I took her home, in my dad’s car, it was spring-like – bright sunshine, chilly but with the hope of everything to come. She was (and still is) absolutely beautiful. I noticed yesterday that her freckles have reappeared on her face and her hair is needing a trim. She wants to change her glasses and get a septum piercing. But almost 14 years ago, she was safe in my arms; tiny, wrinkled and dressed in cow print. I fed her as she lay next to me in bed. I could gaze upon her forever. 

Yesterday she needed me to read Shakespeare to her because she was worried she didn’t understand it. Today, she is on her own in this horrible scary world, that I can’t even read about in the news at the moment because of….. well, everything.

 
I take a deep breath and text friends, who know this day and what I’m feeling. The tight hug I have enveloped her in for her whole life will try to be her life jacket today. I texted her, ‘I’m so proud of you for doing this’.It’s only a trip to town. It’s so much more than that. *snip*

T.B.C…


3 thoughts on “The Hot Air Balloon

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